Friday, November 25, 2016

Your Gischler Holiday Shopping Guide.


It's that time again, when Americans rise from their turkey comas to fling themselves into the deadly embrace of Black Friday.  If YouTube videos of previous Back Fridays are any indication, many of you will not survive.  Imagine being one of the lucky few to make it through unscathed only to return home and realize you forgot a gift for some uncle or cousin.  You don't want to go back out there, do you?

The answer?  eBooks.  That's right, from the comfort and safety of your home, you can gift one of my books to that friend or relation with a Kindle or other reading device.

The cost of my FANTASY TRILOGY is far, far less expensive than the average Lexus.


Prefer something gritty and hard-boiled?  Then try my first novel Gun Monkeys!

Prefer something strange and offensive?  Then grab yourself a copy of Gestapo Mars!


Comics?  Perhaps my B-Movie creator-owned Sally of the Wasteland is what you need.


The above is a selection.  There's plenty more.  And since writing is how I pay the bills, I feel like I need to go all carnival barker once in a while.  Hopefully you've been inspired to give the gift of reading.

Good shopping, and happy holidays!







Thursday, November 24, 2016

Saturday, November 12, 2016

I Have / I've never ...


I HAVE ...

Been around the world.  Twice.
Written for Marvel Comics.
Gained too much weight.
Been guest of honor at a convention.
Broken my collar bone.
Been nominated for a Bram Stoker Award.
Beered myself "around the world" at Epcot.
Been to the top of the Tower of Pisa.
Earned a PhD in English.
Seen a moose in the wild.
Seen Warren Zevon in concert.
Eaten rattlesnake.
Reluctantly made myself into a morning person.
Run a 5K.
Had surgery after an automobile accident.
Been an extra in a movie.
Read Lord of the Rings multiple times.
Met Joss Whedon.
Ridden a horse on an Alaskan Mountain trail.
Been on a chase team for a hot air balloon.

I'VE NEVER ...

Been south of the equator.
Written for DC Comics.
Won any of the awards I've been nominated for.
Flown in a helicopter.
Ridden Expedition Everest.
Been arrested.
Learned to tune a guitar.
Hunted.
Been white water rafting.
Been selected for jury duty.
Had a cavity.
Played hockey.
Been scuba diving.
Made "beer can chicken" on the grill.
Seen the film Sophie's Choice.
Been to C2 E2.
Played Pokemon Go.
Had a perm.
Served in the military.
Contributed money to a political party.


So ... okay.  That's twenty in each category.  If you take the I HAVE / I'VE NEVER challenge, leave a link in the comments so we can check it out.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park



I see I haven't done anything with this blog for quite a while.  And my last post was about Epcot. So this one will be about Animal Kingdom.  If I have only limited time when visiting the mouse, I always hit Epcot.  The World Showcase is my fave place.  I like to eat and drink my way around the nations, catching singers and acrobats and whatever entertainment I happen to stumble upon as I go.

I have almost an opposite feeling for Animal Kingdom. Sort of.  Almost.  Which is to say I don't DISlike the park, but if I have limited time, Animal Kingdom is always the park I cross of my list first.  For starters, the rides are fine but not my favorite.  Kali River Rapids is all well and good, but if you're going to go on this ride, make it the last one of the day.  Walking around a theme park soaked to the bone is no treat. Dinosaur is the single loudest ride I've ever been on.  SO LOUD.  I feel like I was happy to see the various shows.  Once.

Also, there are no boats or monorails that go to that park.  Does this mean the park is too difficult to find?  Not really.  But I'm always more inclined to hop on a monorail than I am to board one of the buses.  I'm not a fan of the buses.  I would probably just drive myself before bothering with a bus ... but, that would mean driving back after having a few beers which is never the best idea.

And at busy times, several bottlenecks form at various crossroads.  On more that one occasion, I've crossed a bridge and found myself at a sudden standstill in a shoulder-to-shoulder crowd.  Maybe I've just always had the bad luck to be there at the wrong time.

But it's the very fact that I've avoided Animal Kingdom for so long that I feel ready to go back.  Also, I'm wondering if I can approach it like Epcot and map out a Drink Around Africa similar to Beers around the World at Epcot.  There do seem to be some cool places to kick back, nurse a beer and people watch.  Examples:




So what do you think, folks?  Should I venture back into Animal Kingdom?  If so, where should I drink/eat?  Where should I start and end?  Tell me the best way to make a day out of this park.





Thursday, June 30, 2016

EPCOT


There is actually no point at all to this blog post except to talk about Epcot.  Why?  Because I like Epcot.  It's really that simple.  It's my favorite of the Disney parks in Orlando.  My good pal author Anthony Neil Smith tells me Epcot is his least favorite park because it is woefully out of date and showing it's age.  I don't completely agree with this, but I do see his point when I'm over by the 3D show (are they still reviving Captain Eo?) and that terrible Figment imagination ride.  So, yeah, I get it.

But the reason I love Epcot more than the other parks (although I like them too) is that as I am now squarely into middle age (which may or may not have anything to do with it) I find that I am much more about relaxation and entertainment than I am about rides.  I mean, I like the rides, and I wouldn't want to leave Epcot without hitting Test Track and Soarin', but I'm much more keen to wander at a slow crawl around the World Showcase with a beer in my hand, taking in the entertainment.



I was sorry to hear that Canada's rock-n-roll bagpipe and kilt band (I don't remember their actual name) had moved on.  Used to love those guys.  But there is still plenty of good entertainment opportunities around the World Showcase.  A mariachi band in Mexico sounds a little corny and cliché, but why not while you're enjoying a cold Mexican beer?  In China they have acrobats.  There are street performers in the UK and a British Invasion band at the rear of the pavilion.  The band shell across from the American Experience usually has something going on.  The Japanese drum show is cool.  I like to start around lunch time, make an afternoon of it, and then finish before the wave of evening tourists. Staying through dinner is a good option, but often I leave before then.



And when Epcot hosts the Food & Wine Festival, you can crank the whole experience up to eleven.

The last time I was in Epcot I was all by myself (I was there to run a 5k) so I eased through the World Showcase at my own pace, taking it in at my leisure and NOT standing in line for an hour for rides.  So ... like I said.  No real burning need for this blog post. No amazing insights.  I just like Epcot.


Monday, June 20, 2016

In the film racket, "stupid" and "hopeful" probably look the same from a distance.


What do I mean by that?  I guess what I mean is that most writers know getting his/her work made into a film is a long shot.  Such a long shot that putting any time or energy into it probably seems ... well ... stupid.  And yet writers do it all the time.  Are we stupid?  Hopeful?  Both?

Example:  A few months ago I put the scripts for all five issues of my creator-owned comic Sally of the Wasteland into a single file and then dumped that file into Final Draft  the popular "industry standard" screenwriting program.  I would like to say that the program instantly transformed the comic book scripts into a film screenplay, but that would be a whopper of a lie.  Still, if you squinted just right, the document did look a tiny bit screenplay-ish.  I spent some time (time I should have been spending on other projects ... because I'm stupid and hopeful) hammering the thing into shape, making it look less like a comic book script and more like a screenplay. 

It worked.  After all my efforts, I sat back and looked at what I'd done.  A 90 page feature screenplay.  Cool.  So .... now what?

At the time of writing this blog post, three of my novels are currently under option.   I'm grateful for this, but all of these projects are happening "way over there" and I don't really feel connected to them at all.  I'm keen to be hands on, so maybe Sally is my chance.  Maybe.  Who knows?

I hooked up with a like-minded fellow (I won't out him here in case he does not want to be thought of as stupid and hopeful) who liked the script and did a break down.  We've discussed casting and funding and all that.  It's all in the very early stages.  As a comic, we billed Sally as "B-movie" and "grindhouse" and I'd love to approach the film version the same way.  This could all end up being a stupid waste of time, but if I shunned everything difficult or unlikely, I'd never get anywhere.  I guess that's the point.  Hey, Gischler, you're wasting your time.  Yeah?  You might be right. I think I'm going to hit my head against this brick wall anyway.

In the meantime, Sally of the Wasteland still exists as a graphic novel.  Check it out HERE.


Friday, June 3, 2016

This is how I pay the bills.


So in order to pay the mortgage, I feel obligated to harass you fine people every now and then into spending some money.  I've been mostly pimping my fantasy trilogy recently since that's my latest thing, but just to mix it up, let's reach into the bag of forgotten stuff.

My first novel was Gun Monkeys, and it was nominated for an Edgar Award.  After being published by the fine folks at UglyTown, Bantam Dell picked up mass market and eBook rights.  I found out recently that the book has finally earned out after a 39 dollar check arrived in the mail.  BIG BUCKS.  So if you want to see the book that got me started, well, have a look maybe.