Everyone loves a good list (so let's make one now)
What is a really, really, really bad book or movie that you would recommend anyway because it's interesting or amusing in some way? Remember to show your work.
I was just talking with a friend today about The Carpetbaggers. Book or movie, take your pick. The book is based, very loosely, on the life and career of Howard Hughes (George Peppard in the movie), with the other characters being composites of various Hollywood types like Jean Harlow and Jane Russell. The story of Nevada Smith, a sort of novel within the novel that became a separate movie, is great fun all by itself.
I have an automatic association with cheese whenever I hear the name George Peppard because of THE A-TEAM. But then I remember he was pretty darn good in THE BLUE MAX and BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S.
How about Oliver Stone's ALEXANDER? Boring, tedious, with Colin Farrell playing the lead as a hysteric wimp - then, smack in the middle, a butt-naked Rosario Dawson!
How about Mesa of Lost women? It stars a slim pre-Uncle Fester Jackie Coogan as a mad scientist injecting women with spider venom, creating a super race. I quote from the back of the VHS box(I don't know whether it's even available on DVD), "If crazed scientists, weird sexy women and giant spider puppets excite your juices, this one has the bite." I couldn't have said it better myself.
You can't get much worse than the 80's classic, "The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak" with a naked Tawny Kitaene.
Besides the rampant and pointless nudity, it's a French film, so the English dubbing is a tick off. Like watching a Kung Fu flick with naked gladiator women. Priceless.
Showgirls, Cobra, Rambo III, Commando, Bucket of Blood, Caligula, The Beastmaster, I Spit on Your Grave, Silent Night, Deadly Night, anything that was shown on USA's Up All Night and the best bad movie ever made: Basketcase.
Somewhere on the bottom of the horror/comedy barrel is a movie from the early nineties called FRANKENHOOKER. I can't honestly recommend it, but I still remember Louise Lasser as the main character's mom saying, "Want me to make you a sandwhich?"
I wonder if anybody ever put that movie on DVD. . . .
Well, you know my affinity for both Red Dawn and Road House and Steve mentioned Cobra ("That's okay. I don't shop here anyway.") so my list has been whittled down...
But I think The Legend of Billie Jean has it all. And by "all" I mean "Dean Stockwell, Peter Coyote, a silly premise and a theme song that's lived on forever."
Frankenhooker is not made up. It was made by the same guy who made Basket Case. The guy is actually going to be at the Philly Film Fest when I'm down there in a couple of weeks. I think I'll have to go meet him.
I shit you not, I just happened upon this as I clicked away from the blog: http://io9.com/370843/frankenhooker-teaches-you-probably-the-best-way-to-get-through-your-homework
OMG, Corvette Summer. I remember that. I think I paid money to see it.
Movies so bad that they're good: c'mon, what about Flashdance? Or is that too much of a chick movie for you Red Dawn guys out there? You might prefer Raw Deal. Used Cars.
THE ROCK. Over and over again. Like a moth to the light. Especially the ridiculous argument between Ed Harris and the mercenaries near the end, and even more so that *awful* long-winded "It's you. You're the Rocket Man" set-up.
And yet, every goddamn time it's on, there I am...
As I normally recommend this: SPAWN by Shaun Hutson. Or indeed, most things by Mr Hutson. Awfully written, the kind of stuff we used to pass around the playground, but entirely compelling.
And FRANKENHOOKER ain't that bad. Not when you compare it to Fred Olen Ray's output - the one that spring immediately to mind: HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS. Guess what that one's about.
Since Charlton Heston just died, my first thought is "The Omega Man." Cheesy as hell (though M. Dargis in the NYTimes last week called it a classic) I love it as much as I did when I was ten. And there's Anthony Zerbe, who can't be beat:
"Come out, Neville. User of the wheel. Nothing cleanses quite like fire."
30 comments:
I was just talking with a friend today about The Carpetbaggers. Book or movie, take your pick. The book is based, very loosely, on the life and career of Howard Hughes (George Peppard in the movie), with the other characters being composites of various Hollywood types like Jean Harlow and Jane Russell. The story of Nevada Smith, a sort of novel within the novel that became a separate movie, is great fun all by itself.
I have an automatic association with cheese whenever I hear the name George Peppard because of THE A-TEAM. But then I remember he was pretty darn good in THE BLUE MAX and BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S.
I'd pick one of those lurid fifties movies/books like Peyton Place. They just don't make stuff like that anymore.
Now I have "The Theme from a Summer Place" bouncing around in my head for some reason.
VG
I'll bite. How about Snakes on a Plane? Cheesy, or just bad film making?
How about Oliver Stone's ALEXANDER? Boring, tedious, with Colin Farrell playing the lead as a hysteric wimp - then, smack in the middle, a butt-naked Rosario Dawson!
How about Mesa of Lost women? It stars a slim pre-Uncle Fester Jackie Coogan as a mad scientist injecting women with spider venom, creating a super race. I quote from the back of the VHS box(I don't know whether it's even available on DVD), "If crazed scientists, weird sexy women and giant spider puppets excite your juices, this one has the bite." I couldn't have said it better myself.
It just came to me: Howard the Duck.
I haven't seen Snakes on a Plane nor Alexander. Maybe I'm missing out ... or not? I forgot. Are these good movies or bad? Or Both?
Randy, Mesa of Lost Women sounds so incredibly bad that it must in fact be awesome. Might have to Netflix that one.
VG
Actually, Randy, sounds like an Emerson LaSalle story.
VG
You can't get much worse than the 80's classic, "The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak" with a naked Tawny Kitaene.
Besides the rampant and pointless nudity, it's a French film, so the English dubbing is a tick off. Like watching a Kung Fu flick with naked gladiator women. Priceless.
Showgirls, Cobra, Rambo III, Commando, Bucket of Blood, Caligula, The Beastmaster, I Spit on Your Grave, Silent Night, Deadly Night, anything that was shown on USA's Up All Night and the best bad movie ever made: Basketcase.
Dungeons and Dragons - Jeremy Irons speech at the end: "You thieves, always taking what doesn't belong to you."
WTF?
USA Up All Night! Ah, the memories.
Somewhere on the bottom of the horror/comedy barrel is a movie from the early nineties called FRANKENHOOKER. I can't honestly recommend it, but I still remember Louise Lasser as the main character's mom saying, "Want me to make you a sandwhich?"
I wonder if anybody ever put that movie on DVD. . . .
Emergency update:
FRANKENHOOKER exists (appropriately in pieces) on YouTube.
The apocalypse is upon us. . . .
SD
Well, you know my affinity for both Red Dawn and Road House and Steve mentioned Cobra ("That's okay. I don't shop here anyway.") so my list has been whittled down...
But I think The Legend of Billie Jean has it all. And by "all" I mean "Dean Stockwell, Peter Coyote, a silly premise and a theme song that's lived on forever."
I like that the crime boss in Road House and the pornographer Jackie Treehorn in The Big Lebowski are both Ben Gazzara.
SD
Frankenhooker?
You made that up.
I still think 3000 Miles To Graceland is a a good example of pulp that *should* have worked ... but ... well ... didn't.
VG
Frankenhooker is not made up. It was made by the same guy who made Basket Case. The guy is actually going to be at the Philly Film Fest when I'm down there in a couple of weeks. I think I'll have to go meet him.
I shit you not, I just happened upon this as I clicked away from the blog: http://io9.com/370843/frankenhooker-teaches-you-probably-the-best-way-to-get-through-your-homework
How can a movie with a naked Tawny Kitaene be bad? It must be a lulu in every other respect.
Victor:
Two words: CORVETTE SUMMER
Mark Hamill (fresh from his jackpot lottery ticket casting with Star Wars) teams up with a snug hot pants wearing Annie Potts. So bad it's good.
Kieran
OMG, Corvette Summer. I remember that. I think I paid money to see it.
Movies so bad that they're good: c'mon, what about Flashdance? Or is that too much of a chick movie for you Red Dawn guys out there? You might prefer Raw Deal. Used Cars.
I can't believe how many of these I've seen. I feel either very proud or slightly ashamed. Not sure.
VG
THE ROCK. Over and over again. Like a moth to the light. Especially the ridiculous argument between Ed Harris and the mercenaries near the end, and even more so that *awful* long-winded "It's you. You're the Rocket Man" set-up.
And yet, every goddamn time it's on, there I am...
What about CON AIR?
At one point you could find it 24/7 on Encore Action, it was almost like it had its own channel.
Neil,
I think we've said similar things about ARMAGEDDON. Sooooooo very bad ... yet I can't make myself turn the channel.
VG
As I normally recommend this: SPAWN by Shaun Hutson. Or indeed, most things by Mr Hutson. Awfully written, the kind of stuff we used to pass around the playground, but entirely compelling.
And FRANKENHOOKER ain't that bad. Not when you compare it to Fred Olen Ray's output - the one that spring immediately to mind: HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS. Guess what that one's about.
Since Charlton Heston just died, my first thought is "The Omega Man." Cheesy as hell (though M. Dargis in the NYTimes last week called it a classic) I love it as much as I did when I was ten. And there's Anthony Zerbe, who can't be beat:
"Come out, Neville. User of the wheel. Nothing cleanses quite like fire."
Scott Phillips
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